The Power of What is Right in Front of You
- 1 hour ago
- 4 min read
I am writing this from Salem, Massachusetts, on a trip with my thirteen-year-old daughter Ash. The trip was a birthday gift. Ash wanted to explore the various witch lore, learn about the Salem Witch Trials, and check out some of the shops with enchanted herbs and potions.
Originally, the plan was to bring three of her friends. I was mostly going to be the chaperone while they explored, and I figured I would focus on working on my own projects.
But I was nervous about it. The drive was over five hours. And the place I booked was not clear could comfortably fit five people. I was outnumbered by the teenage factor alone. How was I going to keep track of four thirteen-year-old girls?
And sure enough, life had other plans for us. One by one, all but one of her friends had to cancel. Then within the first night we arrived, the remaining friend got sick and had to go home.
This was now a very different trip than the one we planned. It was just my daughter Ash and me.
I could tell she was bummed, and I was bummed for her. But I also saw there was something that doesn't always happen—it became an opportunity for us to spend quality time together.
And so we've been making witch broomsticks, exploring these amazing shops full of herbs and oddities, visiting museums, watching movies, joking around, and hanging out together.
When I was a kid, my parents were heavily focused on work. While we did go away, a trip like this probably wouldn't have happened.
This trip gave me a chance to say something without actually saying it:
I see you. I want to know who you are. You matter.
It feels like yesterday when she would ask me to play chess or Monopoly. She just finished seventh grade and it is a different world now.
Childhood doesn't last very long. Soon enough she'll be driving. Yet for a few unexpected days in Salem, I got a chance to get to know the person she's becoming, and I felt like I had a chance to really be there for her.
Life will go sideways... it's almost predictable that it will. But these moments can also bring opportunities.
The lesson wasn't limited to this trip.
I have spoken in other posts about it, but behind the scenes, there have been plenty of stresses in my life. Questions without easy answers. Problems that may take months or years to resolve.
When enough of those problems pile up, they can start to feel overwhelming. The anxiety can build up and swell until it just hits like a tidal wave.
When I find myself stressing about the big problems, I've been trying something different: I solve a smaller one.
My shower faucet had been loose for over a year.
I finally fixed it. I recaulked my bathroom. I spent a morning reviewing my budget (goes well with a lot of iced coffee).
None of this is dramatic or even interesting. None of this by itself solves the larger challenges in life.
However, one at a time, these smaller actions remind me that I still have agency. I can still impact my world. Each small action changes something, however minor.
They remind us that we are not completely at the mercy of our circumstances. And enough small actions start to change something inside us as well.
Small actions can interrupt helplessness and create momentum - however small.
They can give us the courage to take on bigger problems, or at least have faith that we can address them. We start to see opportunities that were invisible when we were stuck.
I couldn't control that my daughter's friends had to cancel. I couldn't control her disappointment about it either.
Disappointment is part of the deal. Acknowledging that it sucks is important. Sometimes we need to feel it before we can move on and figure out what's next.
It's raining today on our last day and we'll have to improvise because we had outdoor plans.
We can't control the weather. We can't control the past or the future.
But we can choose how we respond now.
I can decide to spend meaningful time here with my kid who is thirteen-going-on-thirty- but still thirteen. I can put down my phone. I can read, write, reflect, create.
Sometimes life erases the itinerary. Sometimes everything goes off script. The ink runs. The pages blur. The words from yesterday no longer make sense today.
In those moments, what matters is not the plan we lost.
What matters is how we respond to what is in front of us.
When the big problems in your life feel overwhelming, try solving a smaller one.
Fix something that's been bothering you. Clean out a drawer. Pay a bill.
Write a song. Take a walk. Call a friend.
Because sometimes the path forward doesn't begin with solving the biggest problem in your life.
Sometimes it begins with solving what's right in front of you.
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