The Moments That Shape Us

Every once in a while we have a moment.

Sometimes it’s dramatic and loud, hitting us like a ton of bricks. Other times it’s subtle and quiet, and its impact seeps into our lives over the days, months, and years that follow. But something changes in us.

Recently one morning I was playing guitar. I was deep into an idea, working through different parts of an arrangement, completely absorbed in the process. Time was an afterthought. It was just me and the notes, the sounds, the feeling of exploration in a weightless, expansive moment. It felt like my soul was at home.

By the time I put down the guitar, it felt like something inside me had healed.

These are the moments that keep me going. They’re a large part of why music is such an important part of my life.

But there are other moments too. The moment I knew I was getting divorced. The moment I realized I was leaving the house where I had shared a life with someone — the house my kids lived in. It felt like I was doing the one thing I had always told myself I would never do — leave them.

I still remember looking at the house we had bought only a few years before and thinking:

What the hell am I going to do? Where am I going to live?

A life I had built for decades was gone, or at least was radically changing.

A wave of dark epiphanies hit me faster than I could process.

Moments like that stay with you.

Sometimes we recognize the magnitude of a moment right away. Other times it can take years before we fully understand what has shifted in us. The meaning unfolds over time, with different colors and emotions that blend into each other... grief, joy, confusion, anger, denial, pain, love, humor, acceptance... and we cannot always predict how the story will unfold for us.

The more time I spend on this planet, the more I recognize how fleeting and fickle human life is.

But limits can bring meaning. Constraints can lead to creativity.

We don’t control the moments that break us, and we can’t take back time. But we can try to process what happens, and ultimately choose how we respond to these moments. We can choose to start over, or simply take a different perspective in our lives. We can learn from the past, and we can build something new, or simply look at what we can bring to the world each day.

What are the moments that have shaped your life?

What moments still feel vivid when you think about them?

Where were you at the time? Did something change inside you?

Why do you think that moment stayed with you?

What kinds of moments do you want more of in your life now?

What experiences make you feel alive or connected?

If life is a series of fleeting moments, let's make them count.

“There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen.” — Vladimir Lenin

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” — Viktor E. Frankl

“Sometimes you never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” — Dr. Seuss